Archive for the ‘Coaching’ Category

The Cure

We think we get over things.
We don’t get over things.
Or say, we get over the measles
but not a broken heart.
We need to make that distinction.
The things that become part of our experience
never become less a part of our experience.
How can I say it?
The way to “get over” a life is to die.
Short of that, you move with it,
let the pain be pain,
not in the hope that it will vanish
but in the faith that it will fit in,
find its place in the shape of things
and be then not any less pain but true to form.
Because anything natural has an inherent shape
and will flow towards it.
And a life is as natural as a leaf.
That’s what we’re looking for:
not the end of a thing but the shape of it.
Wisdom is seeing the shape of your life
without obliterating (getting over) a single
instant of it.

–Albert Huffstickler

This poem was posted by, Mark Fleming, a colleague who I met and worked with many years ago. I have had no contact with Mark other than the poems he posts on social media.

Today this poem had a profound effect on me.

I the past couple of hours I have read this poem over and over again. The emotions, memories and visions of my life that this poem evoked have been unnerving and at the same time liberating and strengthening.

To be told there is a “cure” for trauma, hurt and grief, has always enraged me. To the told “get over it” has enraged me even more viscerally than being told there is a cure for what I feel and experience.

The profound effect of this poem is the affirmation in seeing the natural flow of life, the good and the bad. There is something in me that bursts with joy, power, strength and courage when I can shift my mind to seeing the “WISDOM” that can be found in experience. The “WISDOM” that can be found in every form of the experience of life, pain and happiness, rejection and acceptance, peace and chaos. Each of these expressions of life has a form and when I can nurture the experience, the expression rather than obliterating, “getting over”, I am able to bring myself into the flow of life and experience.

Perhaps this poem, and remembering the words, savouring the meaning, will allow me to be able to find the “form and shape” in the pain that that has flowed through my life. Perhaps in remembering this poem, I will be able to bring my pain IN, allow my pain to be a part of me, rather than “getting over” my pain and “obliterating” my pain.










Loving you from here.


About Albert Huffstickler ~

“In 1988, Richard Lance Williams wrote in The Austin Chronicle about Huffstickler’s poetry, commenting that “travelling [had] instilled in him a great tolerance for the diversity of human behavior and a deep understanding of how a rootless life can drive one to insanity.” As Williams noted, “his poetry reflect this diversity.” “Long or short, elegies or curses, comic or obscene, sad or jubilant, but always in his vocabulary of ideas,” Williams continued, “his poems speak to the longing of a human for an understanding of their place in this strange, dangerous universe.” After another interview with Huffstickler in 1989, Williams commented on Huffstickler’s interest in “the artist’s blessing, the curse; why artists have to create because the terror is so great, the universe without them so incomprehensible, too comprehensible….” As he requested in a poem, Huffstickler’s ashes were scattered in an arroyo outside of Santa Fe, New Mexico, and by chance or fate, the arroyo turned out to be on Hyde Park Road. As Williams’s eulogy concluded, Huff remains “a soul who even now is on a bus somewhere between here and eternity.”

Photo of Albert Huffstickler, taken in 1999

Photo of Albert Huffstickler, taken in 1999











Awaken Festival

Lighting UP Your Erotic Life

Tantra – Yoga – Breath – Movement – Massage for Men at the Awaken Studio

Registration and Information Below

May 1 - 6:00 to 10:30, 
May 2 - 9:30 to 7:00 
May 3 - 9:30 to 8:00

Awaken Studio – Toronto


Freedom from guilt, alleviation of anxiety. The path can be as simple as breathing.
Find your way to the Awaken Studio Toronto and please share the energy of a Breath and Body class.


Dreaming at the Awaken Studio Toronto

An amazing Coaching session this morning.
A question became the culmination of an intense conversation.
“What would I like to see in my lifetime?”
That question then flushed out with a pondering of:
“What I dream of?”
“What do I want to see in the future?”
“What is playing in my wildest mind?”

I found these questions glorious being asked on a day that holds so much promise. I found the freedom there can be as I simply hold my dreams. Holding space for all the potential that there can be. I found the power in letting my fantasy of the future swirl into the energies that I bring to the present and emboldened by the force of will that the past has taken. All this reminding me that what I dream of and envision today can become the reality of the future.

I love this premise so much. I love the learning that I have had over the past 10 years as I have lived my dream, brought forward my fantasies and desires for what life will be. Over all these years I have come to the knowing that what I dream I create! I have so much gratitude and strength from knowing that the dreams I hold are the reality that I create.

Come along and dream with me!
Come along and dream really big with me!
Come and let’s dream together!

“A dream you dream alone is only a dream. A dream you dream together is reality.” John Lennon

What’s on at the Awaken Studio October 13 to 19 – 2014

Tuesday October 14 – 8:00 to 9:30
Naked Yoga for all Men
Introducing Yogi Mike Fox who will be subbing for Andy this week

Awaken Studio Toronto Naked Yoga for Men Tuesday 8:00 pm

Awaken Studio Toronto
Naked Yoga for Men Tuesday 8:00 pm

Wednesday October 15 – 7:00 pm to 10:00 pm
Kinky PLAY for Men
Playing with the St Andrews Cross as the focus for this evening of PLAY

Kinky PLAY Label

Thursday October 16 – 8:00 to 9:30
Orgasmic Energy Explorations
Orgasmic Yoga for Men – Create and EROTIC Adventure for your BODY

Orgasmic Yoga at the Awaken Studio Toronto

Orgasmic Yoga at the Awaken Studio Toronto

Sunday October 19 – 1:00 to 6:00
Men 4 Men Touch Exchange – Erotic Touch with Taoist Massage
Gather with a group of adventurous men as we touch and create connection


Awaken Studio Toronto Erotic Touch with Taoist Massage Sunday July 20 1:00 pm

Awaken Studio Toronto
Erotic Touch with Taoist Massage


Registration is open for the
Ecstatic Path Weekend Experience
with William McMeniman and Phillip Coupal
Register today and take advantage of the early registration fee $300.00 for the whole weekend.
The regular fee, $400.00, will take effect Tuesday October 14
There are only 2 spaces left for this educational and experiential exploration and adventure. Join the group of 16 men as we create a unique and pleasurable experience in a playful laboratory.


Ecstatic Path Erotic Awareness Workshop for Men

Ecstatic Path Erotic Awareness Workshop for Men

Starting a morning practice of LOVE.


This morning as I woke up and got ready for the day I noticed that something was a little off. I was in a hurry, I was anxious, I was distracted.

I realized that over the past while I had dropped a practice. I had stopped doing something that I had very much enjoyed doing.

I began again. I simply looked closer at the day and with each thought of the day looked to how I could bring more LOVE to that part of my day.

How could I BE more LOVE?

How could I bring more LOVE?

How could I deliver more LOVE?

How could I create more LOVE?

When I got to the idea that I am simply a creature of LOVE I was able to relax, slow down, and concentrate more.

Looking forward to bringing back my morning practice of looking at LOVE.


When you arise
in the morning,
think of what a precious
privilege it is to be alive
to breathe, to think,
to enjoy, to love.
~Marcus Aurelius

Bringing more LOVE to the world

Bringing more LOVE to the world

If you don’t have tall poppies, you only have weeds. 

~  Lindsay Fox


Do you let yourself stand out from the crowd?


Phillip Coupal Counselling Coaching Bodywork at Awaken Studio Toronto

Phillip Coupal Counselling Coaching Bodywork at Awaken Studio Toronto


Today inspired by:

my friend Germen and his beautiful land on the Sunshine Coast – The Landing Place.

my friend Dave who lead me through a wonderful conversation and introduced me to the concept of “Tall Poppies”

my friend Paul who inspires me everyday


Hello Lover

Here are the Events for June at the Awaken Studio

Please know that the Awaken Studio welcomes all  men. If you have questions or uncertainty of any of the events please feel free to give me a call at 416-557-7312 or send me an email at

I take great pride in offering events and space for men to explore their desire. It is my pleasure to hold and offer space for all men to create a dynamic and fertile erotic life for themselves and their lovers. I hope that the world might be a better place as we communicate and live with whole hearts as vibrant and gracious sexual human beings.

Best of everything



Awaken Studio

News Update and Events June 2014

Phillip Coupal 

Counselling + Coaching + Bodywork


June Events

Awaken Studio – Toronto

Awakening the heart and spirit of men to the
peace and surrender of masculine erotic power.

Weekly Events

Tuesday evenings

Naked Yoga for Men with Gregory Saliba
Tuesday Evenings  – through July 22
You are welcome to Drop In to these sessions
$20.00 for the class
Email if you plan to attend

Sorry there is no touch exchanged at this event.

Naked Yoga for Men Toronto Winter/Spring 2014 Session March to May -

Thursday Evenings

Touch Practice for Men with Phillip Coupal
Thursday Evenings – through July 17
You are welcome to Drop In to these sessions
$30.00 for the evening
On Line Registration

Touch Practice for Men
June Weekend Events

Queer Heart Talking Circle
Sunday June 8 – 1:00-5:30
PWYC Suggest $10.00

Sorry there is no touch exchanged at this event.

Queer Heart Talking Circle - Creating Radical Community Sunday January 12
Touch Exchange – Erotic Touch with Taoist Massage
Sunday June 15 – 1:00-6:00
$45.00 for the afternoon
on Line Registration

Fall 2013 at the Awaken Studio Toronto Men Touching Men
Sensual Experience with Tantric Exploration
Sunday June 22 – 1:00 to – 6:00
$45.00 for the afternoon
on Line Registration

Fall 2013 at the Awaken Studio Toronto Men Touching Men

World PRIDE Toronto Events

Celebrating my First Birthday and my Emancipation at
Self Pleasure Meditation for Men
Monday June 23 – 7:30 to – 9:30
$30.00 for the evening
on Line Registration

Naked Yoga for Men – World Pride Edition
Tuesday June 24 – 8:00 to – 9:30
$20.00 for the class
Email for Attendance

Sorry there is no touch exchanged at this event.

Rosebud Anal Exploration for Men
Wednesday June 25 – 7:30 to – 9:30
$30.00 for the evening
on Line Registration

Touch Practice for Men – World Pride Edition
Thursday June 26 – 7:30 to – 9:30
$30.00 for the evening
on Line Registration

Surrendering to Sensation
Friday June 27 – 7:00 to – 10:00
$50.00 for the evening
on Line Registration

Pleasure Play with Cross and Sling
Saturday June 28 – 10:00 to – 6:00
$125.00.00 for the day
on Line Registration

Registration for all events at

World Pride 2014 Events at the Awake Studio

World Pride 2014 Events at the Awake Studio


“The erotic is the nurturer or nursemaid of all our deepest knowledge.” – Audre Lorde 

Awaken Studio 270 Carlaw Avenue Toronto, ON Canada 416-557-7312 The erotic is the nurturer or nursemaid of all our deepest knowledge. ~ Audre Lorde

Awaken Studio
270 Carlaw Avenue
Toronto, ON Canada

Awaken Studio – A welcoming, safe and
supportive environment for all men, to explore erotic and sexual experience, through exploratory
education, experimentation, play
and willing curiousity.

The Awaken Studio provides a space where with communal and humanistic intention all men are
welcome to dynamically and fluidly, create, explore and or re-experience sexual story and history.

Men transform and ascend to a state of  powerful, peaceful, joyful, and ecstatic transcendence.

Phillip Coupal introducing himself as a:
Counsellor, Life Skills Coach and Bodyworker at the
Awaken Studio in Toronto Canada


For more information please visit the website at

If you have questions or would like to book an appointment please email Phillip at phillip


How long will this continue?

How many times do I have to feel the rush of anger and the push of BIG emotions that rise through me as I hear the words over, and over and over again?

“You are irrelevant! Everything that you are doing is IRRELEVANT! What you want for your self, your group and your community are totally IRRELEVANT and what ever we want we will do…”

When I hear this statement going off in my head I begin to get very sensitive. What happens in my head is like the ear worm song that I can not eject, and the ear worm keeps playing, over and over and over again. I am simply left to wonder how many times will this go on in my head, repeating incessantly. I begin to fear that this statement will begin to invade my heart, my passion and my spirit. When I am beginning to be afraid that this statement is taking over my life, my actions and all that I do I simply have to do something intensly relevant, loudly different! That relevant something is usually pretty outrageous, and sometimes boldly daring.

Answering my own Question.

So the answer to my question of how long this belittling and degrading message will continue.

I feel I need to say forever! Or at least until the success, the daring and the brilliance of my self can take root and overpower the dark overbearing and bullying statement that this was.


I have been afraid to write about this as when I have spoken of it or written about it in the past I have been threatened, yet again, over and over, often with legal action.

When I have begged the compatriots of this bully to reign him in I have been told, “You will just have to remain silent. The perpetrator is indeed a bully. This is how he has acted all his life and besides he is a number 8 on the “Eneagram” scale and has no control over his emotions.”

I am shaking as I write this. This story and statement feeds into every historical act of outrageous and cruel, torturing and belittling bullying and degrading taunts, punches and kicks  that were perpetrated on me a a child, a young man, a gay boy simply one who could not fit in.

The weird thing of all of this is that my silence perpetuates the story and makes the story more real in my heart. My silence creates more fear and my fear amplifies the story.

What to do to Move Ahead?

What to do… Yes what to do.

All I am left to do is get up off the floor, dust myself off and look around. As I look I seek out those who I am able to align with. I seek out those who have matching experiences. Then I do my best to stand tall, stand proud and deliver all that is my best all that is relevant. Delivering my best and everything that is full of my passion, my zeal and all of the care and LOVE that I can bring to my band of lovers and warriors lets me feel relevant. This action of delivering my best reverberates in my psyche and allows me to rebuild myself. This self is stronger, more compassionate and more generous than each time before.

What I can say about all of this.

Don’t fall into the trap of the bullies! Don’t let yourself be a victim! Offer all you have! Give until you can give no more! Keep searching for those around you who care and who will hear you and see you for all you are.

AND know this! NO human being is ever IRRELEVANT. Every human being matters.  Let your voice be heard.

If you have no place to tell you story… If you have no place to be heard… If you feel unwelcome, rejected, lost or alone… Call me! Write to me! Connect with me and together we can change the world.

Together we can stand in the face of the bully!

One final whisper to the perpetrator of this statement to me… SUE me! Take your legal action… bring it on. Your actions and your words will not kill me or silence me. Your words will only make my actions and my presence in the world stronger and will fan the flames of my passion for community, healing and love of all human-kind.

If this blog stirs something in you? Let me know, I want to hear from you.


Silence = Death

How long will this continue... A story about relevance

How long will this continue…
A story about relevance

How long will this continue... A story about relevance

How long will this continue…
A story about relevance